Pride
Once someone came up to Mark Buchanan after church and said, "Pastor Mark, when did you finally overcome your pride?" He was serious. Mark says:
There was a movie made in the late 90s called "The Saint." Val Kilmer plays a master of espionage and burglary. He's a man of many disguises--a Russian commando, a sniveling journalist, a mystic poet, an effeminate booking agent--but he always takes the name of a saint. His disguises are so thorough, so precise in detail, that they fool even those who know him intimately or who are on the hunt for him. In one scene he sits down right beside the man who has been obsessively tracking him for years. He looks straight at the man and asks him a question. The man has no idea it's him.
That's what pride is like. It keeps showing up in disguise, bearing a saint's name, mingling freely in the crowd, unrecognized by even those who seek it out. When that young man asked me about my secret to conquering pride, I had a surge of pride in thinking how very godly I must look. There it was, pride, sitting down right beside me and duping me again. Pascal once said that real humility is so elusive that when he wrote about it, he often felt proud of how eloquently he'd written.
I was reminded of this by something that happened to me at church tonight. My little support group and I encouraged and prayed with T.M., and I even ended up talking to the elders on her behalf, and tomorrow I plan to help her and her husband L. fill out the application form to go to an excellent rehab.
See, I could have told you that much and you would have been impressed. Frankly, I thought about it.
But the whole truth is, the REST of my little support group and I ate lunch together Sunday WITHOUT HER and seriously discussed canceling the group for awhile because T. monopolizes the conversation. Well, wasn't THAT a Jesus-like response to her needs?
Now you know the rest of the story.
I don't know why God puts up with me sometimes.
There was a movie made in the late 90s called "The Saint." Val Kilmer plays a master of espionage and burglary. He's a man of many disguises--a Russian commando, a sniveling journalist, a mystic poet, an effeminate booking agent--but he always takes the name of a saint. His disguises are so thorough, so precise in detail, that they fool even those who know him intimately or who are on the hunt for him. In one scene he sits down right beside the man who has been obsessively tracking him for years. He looks straight at the man and asks him a question. The man has no idea it's him.
That's what pride is like. It keeps showing up in disguise, bearing a saint's name, mingling freely in the crowd, unrecognized by even those who seek it out. When that young man asked me about my secret to conquering pride, I had a surge of pride in thinking how very godly I must look. There it was, pride, sitting down right beside me and duping me again. Pascal once said that real humility is so elusive that when he wrote about it, he often felt proud of how eloquently he'd written.
I was reminded of this by something that happened to me at church tonight. My little support group and I encouraged and prayed with T.M., and I even ended up talking to the elders on her behalf, and tomorrow I plan to help her and her husband L. fill out the application form to go to an excellent rehab.
See, I could have told you that much and you would have been impressed. Frankly, I thought about it.
But the whole truth is, the REST of my little support group and I ate lunch together Sunday WITHOUT HER and seriously discussed canceling the group for awhile because T. monopolizes the conversation. Well, wasn't THAT a Jesus-like response to her needs?
Now you know the rest of the story.
I don't know why God puts up with me sometimes.
posted by KathyH @ 9:48 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:59 PM ,
Michelle said...
Since I am the first to comment (wa-hoo!) Let me say first off that I have terrible pride issues. I struggle with pridefulness every day I breathe. Yes, it's clever but also so destructive and I can spot it in others too, but can't say anything...you know, the log thing in Matthew always stops me. Prayer helps pride, but only if you are aware.
Now about the response to that person's needs. I think it's our human-ness that makes us put the brakes on involvement. My parents always told me not to get involved with people's problems. I didn't listen. In fact, despite the health issues I suffered because of my involvement, I thank God that I was ALLOWED INTO THEIR LIVES. Imagine the difference you will make, that you have already made. Realization of that isn't pride, Kathy, that's just giving God the credit for the work he's prodding you to do. You have been ALLOWED into a very intimate place in someone's life...their addiction. Ponder that for a moment, because there's no room for pride in a support person's relationship with an addict. They (the addict) have the innate ability to recognize that and will shut you out quicker than you can say "Bob's your uncle". You have guilty feelings, but I am not so sure that pride is your enemy right now.
At 6:46 AM ,
KathyH said...
I'd like to hear more about how you got health issues from involvement in someone's life.
Also, everybody, please pray for T. and L. I printed the application form off the internet last night, and it's 10 pages they have to fill out, plus 11 more pages of rules, etc. And they can't be together the first 4 months of the year's program. Pray that they won't be overwhelmed and chicken out! It's a Teen Challenge rehab, so you know it'll be great.
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