One-liners

Ginger is here, and we were talking about a comedian we both like, Mitch Hedberg. I've posted a couple of quotes of his before, but here are some more.
I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

That's all I've got, bloggerbuddies!