A dumb blond story by and about ME

This story is something I wrote awhile back for a vocabulary training. Some of my co-workers have asked for it, so I decided to post it here instead of emailing it to them. Blogs are really handy for a lot of things!

Kathy’s Blond Story About the Word “GAPE”

I have always considered myself a wordsmith, but somehow I muddled into my mid-50s with an incomplete understanding of the word “gape.”

When we were writing this training and I noticed that our text (Bringing Words To Life) defined “gape” as “staring with mouth wide open,” I was skeptical. I asked Mava and Melissa, “Do you REALLY have to open your mouth to gape?” They assured me that, yes, your mouth must be open. I was unconvinced. After we consulted several dictionaries, all of which agreed with them, I surrendered.

And then word consciousness kicked in, and now I notice that word in every single book I read!

The first book I read after that day of enlightenment was a novel by Angela Hunt, one of my favorite chick-lit authors. (Yes, chick-lit is a genre.) That word just jumped out at me, and I remember feeling slightly smug that now I had a DEEP understanding of it.

Then I read The Teacher’s Funeral by Richard Peck. The main character considers it a wonderful miracle that the teacher of Hominy Ridge School has died in August, just as he is dreading going back to school.

That night as he’s camping out with a friend, his older sister decides to scare him by appearing out of the darkness impersonating the teacher.

The text says, “Her head was tied up with a rag to keep her dead jaw from dropping in one final gape.” Sheesh! If I’d heard the word with THAT much great context before, I would have figured it out long before now! (I DID know what a gaping hole looked like, though, so I really had no excuse.)

The third book was simply entitled “David.” As David looks across the valley at Goliath, the text says, “I wonder if he stood and stared with his mouth open.” I speak to the author. “Oh, Swindoll, Swindoll! You could have said gape!” I would’ve known.” At that point I realized that my understanding is now SO deep that I can recognize the definition without even seeing the word itself!

As to my earlier ignorance, I blame my childhood. I was never allowed to gape as a child, so I had no prior experience with gaping. My Mama always said (and I quote): “Don’t let your mouth hang open so you won’t look retarded!” I never did.

Not only have I never gaped, but I can’t imagine my biblical hero David allowing himself to do such a thing, Goliath or no Goliath. The teacher? OK, I’ll buy that—but only because she was dead!