Skipping to #1

Last in the creepiest fast-food mascots from fanpop.com:

#1: The King

The only thing scarier than Ronald or Mister Softee is Burger King's 'King'. As if to underscore the King's inherent creep-factor, Burger King even sells King masks online for Halloween. Do you really want to wake up to this guy? DO YOU!?!?

Some of the comments:

dave said:
Yeah that big headed King totally gives me the heeby-jeebies. And I seriously had weird dreams after seeing that Quizno's rat-thing.

karl said:
What a terrible post...pretty sure the 'King' is the most rockin' mascot ever invented. A figure of royalty, wearing a BK Crown and shades who has his own video game. You can't get much cooler than that

JAB said:
The first time I saw the "Waking up with the King" spot I flashbacked to some of Norm MacDonald's stand-up. I just thought to myself, "The King is going to rape this guy!"

Rhilly said:
I thought Burger King's french fry ads were creepy when Mr Potato Head was the character involved.

sirloinj said:
have you seen any of the spoofs on the net with the king?? long live the king....and the quisnos things....those are what we call, a sponge monkey. this is classic stuff here....i hate the noid...i dont' want to avoid him, i want him dead

xoxoxox said:
these guys are so so creepy, i swear if i ever saw that burger king guy outside of my window, i would cry. he is just so SCARY!!!

Hugh said:
The creepy part is Old King would twist his ring and reveal a secret room in the back of the BK that only children and himself could enter.....

shope said:
Grimace is a tastebud! And he's named that because you'd grimace when he stole your milkshake. Definitely bizarre.

beckletts said:
Clearly many of you don't appreciate the utter brilliance of the King... while his constant sneaking around can be seen as rather creepy, there isn't a person around that wouldn't know who you were talking about if you mentioned "the king"... Great commercials Burger King!!!!

SlimRuleS said:
speaking for myself i like the king

desertdragon said:
I'm not touching any food whose producers think they need a freaking (literally) mascot to try to convince me to eat it. I liked the post - all of the above mentioned entities totally creep me out.

brucegrillmster said:
The "King" is as creepy an icon as I have seen on TV in years! I don't eat much fast food, but I DO NOT go to Burger King since this guy came out.

Can you believe people actually waste their time on such inane subjects as this?

Can you believe I quoted them?

I think retirement is turning my brain to mush.

It won't happen again. I promise.