Laundry Detergent Thoughts

Speaking of laundry detergent (see Mark's blog), I love this by Liz Curtis Higgs--

Our great-grandmothers faced the dreaded domestic duty known as "Laundry Day" once a week—Mondays. Granted, it involved rollers and wringers and saggy outdoor washlines, but come Tuesday morning, it was over. Not only did people own a mere 4 outfits instead of 40, they wore them (horrors!) many times before they washed them again.

At the dawn of this new millennium, however, I've decided Grandma got off easy. In our household, the closets are bulging, the kids change clothes hourly—whether or not they need to—and piles of dirty clothes call my name from every corner of the house.

The fact is, sisters, every day is laundry day. (Right, Hippie Chick?)

And what can't be washed clean must be dried clean. Often. The dry cleaners on the corner not only know my name and phone number by heart, they recognize my entire wardrobe on sight. "Oh, is that green plaid dress back again? Liz must be home from Poughkeepsie. Don't forget to treat the spot." I never need to point out where the Caesar dressing or the linguini sauce landed. It's always in the same place—six inches below my chin. Sigh. The cleaners must think I keep a food magnet in my bra.

At least such professionals are well paid for their efforts. Very well paid. My hubby has learned to visit the bank before he picks up my dry cleaning.

Wet cleaning is my department! Bless the creators of laundry detergent for doing their level best to make this thankless task more enjoyable. Such upbeat names! Cheer. All. Fab. Other brands bring to mind a sun-kissed Hawaiian vacation: Surf and Tide. Then there's the detergent that strikes fear in the heart of dieters everywhere: Gain.

When it comes to softening clothes, we're urged to think of duck bottoms—Downy—or childlike activities—Snuggle and Bounce.

Stubborn stains got you down? Just Wisk and Shout. (Wasn't that a Beatles hit in 1964?) I vote for more realistic product names that accurately capture the experience: Whine and Pout.

In protest, I've started marking my own Xs over the irons on all my labels.

Grandma's clothes also didn't have the intimidating care labels we face every washday. Consider the hidden messages in these examples plucked from my laundry basket:

Wash Separately. Separately? As in one item at a time? Surely they jest. If that's the case, we're talking 37 loads of laundry!

Machine Wash with Similar Colors. Hmmm. I own a dress the color of overripe mulberries. Must my whole wardrobe revolve around that shade, or will everything I own become berry-flavored if I wash it with the dress in question?

Hand Wash USA. When traveling overseas, you can leave your hands at home and wash your clothes any way you please.

Made in Morocco. This garment included no laundry instructions whatsoever. Obviously it must be sent back to Morocco to be cleaned.

Hand Wash in Cool Water. Use only one hand to wash the item and use only cool water. But what makes water "cool"? Wearing a hip style of shades, or the right platform shoes?

Mild Detergent, Gentle Cycle. A kinder, gentler laundry experience. Your clothes will send you thank-you notes afterwards.

Tumble Dry Low. How low should you go? And really, what's the alternative?

Tumble dry high? Throw your clothes up in the air? Nail your dryer to the ceiling?
Iron Low. Low dryers may be scarce, but low ironing boards are legion. In most hotels, full-size ironing boards have given way to economy models with two-foot-long boards that hover mere inches above the floor. The good news? You can pray while you iron.

Drip Dry. A long process this, producing dangerously invisible drips on our bathroom floor. Appropriate warning signs are posted on the door. "Watch Your Step! Drying Drips Next 10 Feet!"

Hang to Dry. A drastic measure. If your clothes won't drip quietly, you have no recourse but to sentence them to a long swing from a short rope.

Dry Flat. But where? The kitchen floor? Your dining room table? The front lawn? Once dry, these flat clothes can be worn only by a paper doll or a woman trapped in the second dimension (consult A Wrinkle in Time for further details).

Damp Dry. Oh, honestly! Make up your mind—is it damp or is it dry?

Touch Up with Cool Iron. A cool iron? Now there's a contradiction in terms. Aren't irons, by definition, hot? Does this mean we could just as easily press our clothes with a frozen beefsteak?

Then, There Are the fabric care labels that feature no words at all, just a row of pictures. Oh dear. Would someone kindly send me an Official Secret Decoder Ring?

The first enigmatic symbol looks like a tulip, but probably is meant to be a washing machine. Although tulips are my favorite flower, as tiny washing machines they would allow garden-variety housewives such as me an alarmingly short laundry season. Two weeks of mad washing every spring, then nothing but dirty clothes the other 50 weeks of the year. Talk about soil!

The next symbol is a triangle that looks like a … well, triangle. Uh-oh. The triangle has a big x over it. Fear not: I promise not to put my dress inside a triangle, no matter how tempting it is.

The picture of an iron really looks like an iron. Unfortunately, it does not have a big x over it. Bad news for a woman who lives in a "No Ironing Zone." In protest, I've started marking my own Xs over the irons on all my labels, even the linen and cotton ones. Such a feeling of power, that.

Then there's the symbol of a p in a circle. Hmmm, "Press this garment while walking around in circles?" No, we already have the little iron graphic. "Polyester spoken here," perhaps?

Finally, a picture that can only be described as a Victorian door window: a tall rectangle with an oval inside, crisscrossed by another x. I'd play it safe and avoid wearing the garment in an historic home.

Another challenge: What happens when the ink on a label disappears? Stop wearing the garment? Stop washing it? Stop worrying and wash it any way you like?

My husband, Bill, has three labels he'd like to see on future wardrobe purchases:

Do Not Iron While Wearing He suggested this while spotting me attempting to iron a pleated skirt with half the pleats still circling my body. (Maybe that explains the "p in a circle" graphic. … )

Do Not Use Lip-stick While Wearing. Bill recommended this one after watching me carefully line and color my smackers in Daytona Red lipstick, then step outdoors on a breezy day. When my oversized collar blew up in my face, pressing a bright, red kiss on my blouse, it was not a pretty picture.

Considering the complexity of fabric care instructions, Bill votes for one simple label that says it all: For Best Results, Leave on Hanger.

Bedtime Prayers

I wonder if those of you with small children realize what an awesome thing it is to tuck them into bed and listen to their prayers?!

Wait until they're grown and you'll really miss those moments!

I am very blessed that sometimes I get to relive those wonderful long-ago days!

My friend Lisa has the spiritual gift of hospitality, and awhile back she started inviting me to come over to her house on Wed. nights after church (her husband gets home late due to band rehearsal).

I was, and still am, absolutely enthralled to hear those precious girls pray!

Tonight and also Friday night I get to put them to bed and pray with them all by myself, and I can't wait!

I love being an honorary grandmother (I even got a grandmother birthday card on my birthday!), but I'm trying very hard not to spoil them too much so I don't lose my babysitting privileges!

But if the prayer time runs a little long and the target bedtime is a tiny bit delayed, what can I say?! It's hard to get un-enthralled once you're there!

FOR YOU MOMS!

Hope you mothers of small children get some sleep tonight, especially Julie!

The only thing that ever wakes up Joe and me up in the night is the malady common to older people--we have to get up to pee a few times during the night!
(OK, that was probably more information than you wanted!)

Read Mark's instead!!!

My idea for a sweet blog entry went right down the toilet after reading Mark's! Can't outsweet what HE said!

Read it if you haven't! It's me-log.blogspot.com

The Kiss of Peace

In light of THREE thought-provoking sermons I heard today (from Richard, Mark and Laura, the latter two in song), I want to share this from Christianity Today:

One day when Francis was riding to Assisi, he saw a leper on the road. He reached out to embrace the leper and actually gave him the kiss of peace. While embracing this filthy, diseased outcast, Francis said, he was overcome by a dual sensation. One was nausea. The other was a sense of sweetness and well-being.

Like Francis, we need both. If all we experience is nausea, we will become cynics. We will give up on the world and turn away. But if all we have is sweetness, then our faith will amount to little more than sentimental fluff.

Genuine Christian faith, and true ministry, takes place on the thin line between nausea and sweetness.

One of our elders, Dan Leeds, comes to mind as someone on that thin line. Sweetness just oozes out of him, wouldn't you agree? But there's a lot more to him than sentimental fluff.

Danny gave the kiss of peace to a seriously messed-up couple in our community, and no matter how many times they disappointed him, he never gave up on them or quit interceding with God and man on their behalf. Today Lester and Teresa are in a Teen Challenge drug rehab for couples. He worked long and hard to get them into the program, he drove them to Tulsa and put them on the plane to California, he calls every two or three days to check on them, and there's no telling how much time he spends praying for them!

Yes, some of the rest of us gave them the kiss of peace, too (and I cherish my memory of giving them both a literal kiss as Bruce's class laid hands on them and prayed for them on their last Sunday here), but when I read that story about St. Francis, the face I visualize is Danny's.

Let's all help carry Danny's burden of love by crying out to God every day for grace for Lester and Teresa to make it through the hard days they're experiencing. Then someday maybe we'll get to see them declaring from the pulpit the miracle of love that brought them deliverance.

Danny's not a blog reader or I wouldn't have written this. He's much too humble to want attention called to him. So it's our secret, ok?

Mark and Laura, thanks for your sermons!!

Good News/Bad News

Bad news--I killed my adapter cord and my battery went dead!

Good news--I remembered I have a back-up computer!

Bad news--It's dial-up and it doesn't keep its connection very long.

Good news--I'll have real live people to talk to tonight! (We're going to the Marina with the E's for supper!)

Hope all of you are having a great weekend. I'll be back when I get a new cord or get to work Monday!

I love you, my bloggerbuddies!!!

Relevancy

I was in a Dept. of Education teleconference today, and at one point we were exhorted to be relevant to the students by entering into their world. Guess what they used as an example?

BLOGGING!!

I felt so darn relevant, I waved my arms and said, "I do! I do!"

So tonight I want to thank my relevant blogging friends who make me relevant:

Relevant Mark
Relevant Michelle
Relevant Julie
Relevant Spring
Relavant Laura
Revelant Carol
Relevant Annette

May our relevant tribe increase!

Call me crazy, but sometimes I wonder if we overuse that word. What do you think? The lines are open for relevant comments from relevant people.

"How long has the cat had his own blog?"

BIG NEWS! Joe and I made plans this morning to meet for supper at Porky's, but when I called him on my way home from work, it turned out that I was too tired and he wasn't ready to quit playing golf. So I came on home and assumed the position (left).

Well, he just called and said he's glad he stayed because HE JUST MADE A HOLE-IN- ONE! He's very excited, and so am I, although partly, I must admit, because it gave me something to blog about! Ha!

No other comment needed....

This is how I feel after work today. Maybe I'll whine to you about it later, or maybe I'll give you a break and stay incommunicado until I'm less cranky, like maybe tomorrow!

For my movie buff friends--

TOP 10 THINGS YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WITHOUT MOVIES

l. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

2. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

3. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

7. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

8. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

9. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

10. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

TECHNOLOGY I'M NOT SURE I LIKE!!!

If you're interested in the technology of the future, you've gotta read this excerpt of an article my son-in-law sent me. It seems that we're on the verge of something new called "Quantum Computing," which will change the world! If you'd rather stick your head in the sand, that's ok with me. I'm not sure how much I want to know either!

Article: Quantum Leap by Peter Schwartz, Chris Taylor and Rita Koselka
August 2, 2006: FORTUNE Magazine

She awakes early on the morning of April 10, 2030, in the capable hands of her suburban Chicago apartment. All night, microscopic sensors in her bedside tables have monitored her breathing, heart rate, and brain activity.

The tiny blood sample she gave her bathroom sink last night has been analyzed for free radicals and precancerous cells; the appropriate preventative drugs will be delivered to her hotel in Atlanta this evening. It's an expensive service, but as a gene therapist, Sharon Oja knows it's worth it. She steps into the shower. The tiles inside detect her presence and start displaying the day's top headlines. The manned mission to Mars is going to launch ahead of schedule. U.S. military drones have destroyed another terrorist training camp using smart dust. A top Manhattan banker has been found guilty of fraud and sentenced to 10 years of low tech.

She dresses and picks out a stylish straw fedora. Quantum computing has brought an unexpected revival in haberdashery: Inside the hatband is Sharon's communication center and intelligent assistant, which has scanned and sorted the 500,000 e-mails she received overnight. By the time she reaches the car, it has beamed the 10 most urgent ones and her travel schedule to her visual cortex. The text scrolls down in the bottom of her field of vision.

The Hydrogen Honda knows it is going to be an unseasonably warm day - indeed, thanks to quantum computer simulations it has known today's temperature for five years - and rolls the top down for her. Sharon drives to the freeway, steers into the Smart Lane, then relinquishes the wheel. The hatband screens a birthday video from her parents and a super-encrypted memo from her boss.

At the airport there is no ticket check-in or security line. Sharon simply walks through the revolving door, which scans her for dangerous items, picks up her identity, confirms her reservation, and delivers her gate number, all in the space of a second. She doesn't even bother to check whether the plane is on time - since flight patterns are as computable as the weather, O'Hare hasn't had a late departure in five years.

At the bag drop-off, she sees a familiar man in a yarmulke-like brain cap. The hatband is already on the case and flashes his virtual business card alongside his top 10 Google results. "Dr. Horton," she calls out. "So nice to see you again. How was the diabetes conference?" Only the slightest flicker of Horton's eyes betrays that he is Googling her details too. "Hello, Ms. Oja," he says. "Many happy returns of the day." Sharon grins and gives silent thanks to the quantum computer's creators.

Science fiction, right? Sure - just like satellites, moon shots, and the original microprocessor once were. To scientists on the quantum computing frontier, this scenario is conservative.

Ask scientists to predict how quantum technology will change the world over the next 20 years or so, and their imaginations go wild.

Computers everywhere--Their most common prediction is that we will see - or rather, we won't see - computers everywhere, painted onto walls, in chairs, in your body, communicating with one another constantly and requiring no more power than that which they can glean from radio frequencies in the air.

'I won't have to remember anything' Exponentially smarter computers also raise the possibility of achieving a couple of computer science's long-held goals: a human-brain-imitating neural network and true (or near-true) artificial intelligence. "This is going to be my mental prosthesis," says UCLA's Yablonovitch. "Everything I want to know, I can look up. Everything I can forget, I can find. I'm going to get old, but it won't matter. I won't have to remember anything."

Computers in your headband--Of all the scientists' visions of the quantum future, Wolf's may be the most out-there. "The vision is that we don't have a laptop anymore," Wolf says. "We don't have a cellphone. We wear it. It's a headband. And instead of having a screen, we have direct coupling into the right side of the brain."

A creepy future?

Yes, some people will find it unsettling, which happens with almost every new technology. But while the contours of how quantum computing will apply to society are unclear, the map for how we get there isn't.

"The amazing thing is there's nothing I can see as a big roadblock to this," says Wolf. It's a question of when, not if; exactly when (and where) will be determined by the amount of research dollars available. The U.S. certainly isn't alone in this race; the Europeans and Japanese are funding huge research efforts. India and China are getting onboard as well.

But what about that headband? Won't it creep us out? "What people will not like is having it implanted," Wolf believes. "But if you're just wearing it and it's ultrasonically connected, I mean, you could always take it off."

As with all previous disruptive technologies - radio, television, the Internet - it will probably take a new generation raised to think of quantum headbands as normal for its potential to be truly realized.

Pleasant dreams, everybody!

WE ARE FAMILY!

"We are family!
I got all my sisters with me.
We are family!
Get up ev'rybody and sing!"

That song has been running through my mind today as I think about a little reunion of FBC women in Cabot yesterday.

Lisa E. and I, whose husbands were on an FBC golf trip, went to Cabot for lunch! Our husbands thought it was a little weird, because it took two hours to get there, we ate at a Chucky Cheese-type place (there were several kids involved), and we didn't even stay all day!

BUT we had a two-hour lunch with Debora Brown, Jennifer Barber, and Valerie McClaine (all of whom have recently moved to Cabot), and my daughter Ginger, who lives there. That makes six of us with ties to FBC!

I was reading in my quiet time this morning about how we are all members of one body, and I think our lunch proves the point. We all just BELONGED there yesterday! Yeah, it was a little trouble (for EACH of us) to get together, but it was worth it, because, after all, WE ARE FAMILY!

I'm a Podhead

My son-in-law built my blog, my daughter gave me my first iPod Shuffle, and now my good friend (at left) has given me a Nano! It's a blessing to have young people in my life who are willing to help me enter this new world of technology! Gotta cut this short and go load my Nano! Bless you, Todd, Ginger, and Mark!

World Trade Center

Hmmm, I may have to watch World Trade Center, after all! CT at the Movies (Christianity Today's movie reviews) said this:

Oliver Stone, known for his political rants both stark and subtle, tones down the politics significantly in this film, opting instead for a truly human story of selflessness and heroism. And, somewhat surprisingly, Stone is faithful to faith, so to speak, as he liberally sprinkles the movie with Christian content, especially in one subplot involving a Marine who believes God has called him to help in the search for survivors. All in all, it makes for an inspiring and important film, even as it hearkens back to a day we sometimes might wish we could forget.

I was at a reading conference in Oklahoma once with a friend, and she wanted to go to the site of the Oklahoma City bombing. We walked through room after room of huge pictures of rubble, and sounds of the panicked voices, and artifacts like damaged eyeglasses and purses and shoes. I did ok until we got to the children's room. A whole day care center was on one of the floors, and all those small children got killed. It was soon after Madeline died, and I just couldn't take it. We left and went back to the hotel. The next day someone told us that if we'd stuck it out, the last room was called "The Room of Hope" and it had all kinds of inspiring stories. I guess most tragedies have stories of faith in there somewhere.

Ginger and I went to Ground Zero back in November, and I was astounded to see that big cross ("accidentally" formed by two steel beams) still standing! People have complained, but it's still there! In fact, it was the ONLY thing there except for some memorial signs on the fence. That was heartwarming!

A MIRACLE!!!

You may remember that I was upset in a previous post because my daughter's school, Cabot Jr. High North, had burned down. Today she got to go to her room briefly. This is what she discovered:

My little section of the end of the 9th grade hallway was the only one that survived... My room looked exactly like I had left it (posters still up and my week one handouts copied in the back). The floor was drenched and my bookshelves were soggy, but all of my materials and books are fine.

Isn't that incredible?!

Also, I heard at church tonight that Debora Brown had all her teaching stuff loaded in her vehicle to take to school that afternoon, but the fire broke out an hour before she planned to move it all in!!

God is good!!

Surprised!

Well, aren't I special??

Joe didn't think I would be able to remember how Mark showed me to add an image.

Ha! Fooled him! (Surprised myself, as well.)

Celebrating My Healing

He heals the brokenhearted,

And binds up their wounds.

--Psa. 147:3

Five years ago today I watched helplessly as my almost-three-year-old granddaughter, the light of my life, died. That day the sun went out for me.

The first year I was numb. I couldn't feel any emotions at all. The second year God gave me peace as I came to understand the wisdom of God's plan in taking Madeline home to dance with the angels, forever free from pain.

But peace and healing are two different things, and healing didn't come, although I often cried out for it as I prayed the Psalm that says, "He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds."

God is amazingly creative in how he fulfills his word, and he did it for me through a special family that he sent to FBC, whom I call "the E's." (If my English teacher daughter reads this, I know there's not an apostrophe there, but it looks better with one.)

The E's, each doing a different important work of grace, brought me God's healing. I can't explain it, I just live in the joy of it.

In an hour Joe and I will pile in the E's van for another dinner together, this time at The Grapevine in Paris.

And as we are celebrating Mark's birthday, I will also be celebrating my healing, for God truly has healed my broken heart and bound up my wounds.

To God be the glory!

This one's for you, T-Mark!

TO MARK ON THE EVE OF HIS 32ND BIRTHDAY

I want to revisit Francis Chan’s sermon on Jeremiah 1:4. This won't sound like my writing style, because it's not. I pretty much transcribed the PodCast, except for my thoughts in red.

"The word of the Lord came to me saying,
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

As if it weren't enough that God determined that you would come to FBC four years ago as our worship pastor, how incredible it is to know that you were appointed to come here BEFORE YOU WERE BORN!

God had something to do on earth, a work he wanted done, and he thought in his mind, I’m going to create a person for this purpose, and that is the reason you exist on this earth.

Ephesians 2:10 says you are his masterpiece, created to do good works that God has prepared in advance. God carefully designed you and crafted you just the way he wanted you for good works. The reason you are alive is because there are works you are supposed to do on this earth. That’s why you were created!

Do you ever look in the mirror and think to yourself, “I’m so weird. No one thinks like me. No one understands me. No one gets me. No one’s been through what I’ve been through. No one else has my faults and issues.”

God says, “Yes, there IS no one like you. You’re my masterpiece, and all the things that happened in your life weren’t accidents. I made you exactly the way I wanted you because there are works to be done that no one else can do. I had you experience things—those weren’t accidents." God was shaping you to do what only you could do.

You’ve experienced different things. There are different things about your personality that make you who you are, that God designed and crafted as his masterpiece. God said, “This is what I need. Let me design someone for it. Let me put him on this earth and let him experience certain things because I need someone to do something.”

Israel needed someone to confront him on their casual worship, so he created Jeremiah to confront them. When you begin to understand that God did that for you, it gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. You go, “OK, there’s something I’m supposed to do today that no one else can do."

Do you have anything else in your kitchen that can grate cheese like a cheese grater? No, there’s nothing like it! In the same way, there’s just one of you. There are things you can do that no one else can do, and God made you for this. You can’t find someone to copy because this is the first time he’s made a Mark Edington, so you can’t copy the last one. You’re the first.

Do you wake up each morning thinking “I’m a creation of Almighty God, and there’s this thing I can do on the planet that no one else can do.” When you walk up on the stage, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead will be up there, too, because you are a temple of the Holy Spirit. And when you speak, lives will be changed because God lives inside of you.

Thank you, Pastor Mark, for doing what you were created to do! You have changed FBC as a church, and you have changed my life personally.

Loving Thy Neighbor

This is so good that I wanted to post it for my friend Lisa, who is currently befriending one of her new neighbors.

Project analysis

by John Fischer (senior writer for Purpose-Driven Life daily devotionals)

I have been an evangelical Christian for a long time. I have been taught in evangelical institutions. We are not called “evangelicals” for nothing. That word means evangelism is a priority for us. We are always hearing how important it is to witness to those who don’t know Christ. And witnessing is OK, but actually leading someone to the Lord is the pinnacle of spiritual attainment. Good evangelicals are result-oriented.

It’s hard when you are schooled in this kind of thinking to not end up seeing non-Christians as projects. Their worth to you lies in the fact that they could be possible jewels in your crown. The more people you save, the more important you are to God, and the more confident you can be of your own salvation. Yes, I’m being pretty ruthless here, but I know all these thoughts and feelings all too well, and I am guessing I am not the only one.

Our evangelical mission in the world is very important. It is why we are here – why we aren’t all raptured as soon as we are saved. But I am learning that unless my name is Billy Graham, my role in evangelizing the world is more related to my lifestyle in the world – befriending and loving those around me who may not know Christ, and letting my witness be the natural outgrowth of what Christ means to me. I’m not a salesman. I’m not a missionary, spending two years of my life knocking on doors. I am a neighbor. A co-worker. A fellow student. A soccer dad. Ultimately, I am a friend, and my friendship is not measured by whether or not someone becomes a Christian, but on how loved and accepted they are by me.

I don’t go next door to witness. I go next door to borrow the lawn mower, which may lead to loaning something of mine in return, which may lead to finding something in common, which may lead to doing things together, which may lead to a friendship, which will undoubtedly end up in my being a witness, but that’s not the point. I’m not done when I witness. I’m called by Jesus to love my neighbor, and I’m never done doing that. People know it when they are seen as a project. People know it when you really don’t like being around them, you are just putting up with them so you can fulfill your witnessing obligation. I am learning to love people, to value who they are, regardless of their standing with God. And I’m pretty sure that’s how God feels about them, too. “He does not want anyone to perish, so he is giving more time for everyone to repent.” (2 Peter 3:9) Let’s focus today on loving and serving someone who doesn’t know Christ. Who knows, we might even be a witness in the process.

Keep up the good work, Lisa!

4 more things

Here are 5 more things to do before we get to heaven (from the book "101 Things To Do Before You Go To Heaven"). Four of them are really good!

6. Refuse to Retire--Just because you retire from your job doesn't mean you have to retire from life. One way to keep going and growing is to pour yourself into someone else. Become a mentor. Share your woodworking skills with the kid on the corner. Meet with a young mom who could use your years of parenting experience to help her survive her daughter's "terrible twos." Volunteer to be a Big Sister or Big Brother. No matter what stage of life you're in, others could benefit from your experience. Ask God to lead you to someone who needs what you know. Then simply be a friend with a focus. Share what you've learned. Listen as much as you talk. Ask questions. Encourage. Stay open to God's surprises, and you may learn as much as you teach.

I'm looking forward to my second calling (I don't even like to call it retirement) and I know God has good plans for me! I don't have details, but I know it will involve children, mentoring, and Africa, and it will be very exciting!

7. Change Churches for One Sunday-- Before you get to heaven, it's a good idea to get to know a few of your future neighbors. Not the ones you usually hang around with, but the ones who are different from you. The ones whose worship services are too contemporary or too traditional, too loud or too staid, too charismatic or not charismatic enough. These neighbors may live in a different part of town, dress in a different style, speak a different language, or have a different skin color than you do—but you're going to be worshiping side by side with them one day in heaven. And on that day, no one's going to be debating denominational differences.
Until that time, catch a glimpse of heaven by visiting a different church some Sunday. Choose one that is a different denomination from your own. Then, walk into the service with an open mind and an open heart. People may welcome you warmly—or not. How they respond to you is irrelevant. Your example of spending one Sunday expanding the borders of your church "box" may encourage others to do the same. Focus on what you have in common instead of on what sets you apart. Take a risk, and you may learn something new about God, worship, and the beauty of the place all of Christ's followers will someday call home.

That's what I loved about the International Worship Institute, all the different denominations and nationalities and styles of worship. I know some old people don't like new stuff, but I want to experience things like that until the day I die!!

8. Select a Life Verse--The Bible is filled with great verses. Verses that challenge, convict, encourage, and ultimately draw us closer to God. While being consistent in reading the whole of Scripture is important, applying what you learn is even more so. One way to do that is to take God's Word to heart. That means getting intimate with a portion of Scripture by studying it, memorizing it, turning it over in your mind, and putting what you learn into practice. It means weighing your life against God's truth.
Choosing a life verse can help you do that. Think of it as a mission statement for your life. What do you see as God's primary purpose for your life? It may be to love others as you love yourself, to proclaim God's message through every aspect of your life, or to serve God by serving others. It's true that God asks you to do all these things, but what one area does God want you to become an "expert" in? What characteristic does your heart cry out most deeply for? Mercy? Purity? Truth? Humility? Find a verse that captures your most heartfelt cry to God.
Finding that verse may take some time. As you read through the Bible, write down every verse that summarizes the kind of person you want to be. Live with each verse for a while. Think about it as you go through your day. Ask God to help you apply it in life-changing ways. After a while, you'll find one that strongly resonates with you. Use it as a flashlight during dark times, a scale to weigh who you are against who you long to be, and a promise of what God can do as you wholly lean on Him.

Well, I have mixed emotions about the life verse I took many years ago. It's Phil. 3:10. It says "I want to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings.." As a young Christian I knew I wanted to know him better, and of course I wanted the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, and I was so young and stupid I thought, "Yes! Bring on the suffering. I can handle it!" Now that I have suffered the loss of my grandchild, I'm not so eager to see that part of the verse worked out in my life anymore! The pain of that nearly killed me. And yet, I know that wounds are one of God's deepest forms of intimacy. I learned more about him in suffering than I could have ever learned about him any other way. Mark Buchanan says, "Wounds are, in God's economy, a means of God's wooing. It is the strange kiss of God. The pain becomes a narrow passage that leads down into a unique intimacy with the suffering servant." I know that's true.

9. Bake bread from scratch--I refuse to take this one seriously.

10. Refuse to Act Your Age--Your age is just a number. It's a label to help you keep track of time. Sure, it's true that your age can act as a sort of warning system, like a ten-minute buzzer reminding players that the end of a game is near. But it's just a reminder that every day takes you one step closer toward heaven. It's a cue to make the most of the days that lie ahead.
Focus more on the benefits of getting older than on the difficulties. Cherish the wisdom, discipline, and great memories that can be gained only through living long and well. Recognize the measure of a friendship or marriage that spans decades. Rest in the comfort of knowing that God will see you through the hard times just as He has always done in the past. Don't let a number bring you down. Let it spur you on toward making the most of every moment that lies between you and heaven.

I try not to act my age, but sometimes my body betrays me! Yesterday at work I cleaned out shelves and moved books and other heavy stuff all day and hauled a bunch of loads to the dumpster, and afterwards worked out at Curves, then worked out again this morning, and did my Wal-Mart shopping. Then my body said, "OK, that's enough," so I had to decline a fun outing this afternoon with my almost-granddaughters and their parents. But I'll get my second wind in time to babysit them tonight! I really do have to pace myself, but that's ok. My new motto is "Live deep and not fast." I do the things that matter most to me.

Now I want to hear everybody else's thoughts on any of these ideas--except for the one about making bread. My oven hasn't been turned on since, well, was it Thanksgiving or Christmas?

Three Rules

Aha! I feel vindicated! My username was wrong again today, and this time I KNOW I didn't do it! (Computers think they're so smart sometimes!)

I'm SO GLAD I'm back to blogging despite occasional frustrations, though, because I really received some good ministry from Carol, Summer, Hippie Chick, and Annette!

I just finished a children's book called "The Crow-Girl." The girl in the book lives a totally isolated life in a cove with her grandmother, barely surviving. Her grandmother prepares her for the time she will die by telling her three important rules she must always remember.

Rule #1--"You will find two kinds of people in the world. There are those who make you feel inside as if you are drinking a good, warm soup--even if you are hungry and the two of you have nothing to eat. In spite of that they nourish you. And then there are those who cause you to freeze inside, even if you are sitting before a roaring fire and have eaten your fill. Those are not good for you, even though others might say that they are good people."

Rule #2--"The second rule says that the door to a person's heart can only be opened from within. If there is someone who will not let you in, it's no use hammering and kicking and lamenting and complaining. For what if the door is ajar, and you push it shut? With some people it can never be opened again."

Rule #3--"Then there is the third and most important rule. It's about a person's need to continue wishing and hoping, for then, at last, you will get what was wished and hoped for--even if it is in a completely different way from what you had imagined."

One thing I love about God is his creativity in speaking in so many different ways, and he spoke to me through these words. I'm very grateful today for warm-soup friends like YOU!
I also don't want to push any doors shut by complaining, and I'm trusting God for the things I wish and hope for, however he chooses to answer.

Bummed Out Tonight

I don't really feel like blogging tonight. I feel sad for a couple of reasons. Even watching "The Office" didn't cheer me up, and I love that stupid show!

I have a good friend who is being misunderstood, and that makes me very sad. A friend who is godly and sincere and hears from God doesn't come along very often, and I want to hang on to a treasure like that. I wish somehow I could fix things, but only God can fix this situation. I need to trust Him to do it.

Also, my daughter's school, Cabot Jr. High North, burned down today. You may have seen the fire on the news tonight. It's also Debora Brown's new school. Ginger lost seven years of teaching resources she'd developed, but worse, she lost books that were valuable to her, including her college poetry books. You'd have to be a booklover like she and I are to understand that kind of loss, but it's like, well, losing treasure!

On the other hand, I can treasure two little blessings today. Spring invited me to eat lunch with her next Tuesday, and Lisa went to Curves with me. It's so nice having young friends! I don't mind getting old as long as I don't get cranky like so many old people. I'm hoping I can be old and sweet instead.

Maybe tomorrow will be better! An old Pam Thumb song is going through my head. It said "Life is hard, but God is good." I KNOW that's true, even if I don't FEEL it.

Things You Should Do Before You Go to Heaven

101 things may be a few too many, but here are 5 things from a new book by David Bordon and Tom Winters called "101 Things You Should Do Before You Go to Heaven"--

1. Give Away Something Valuable--If you had to evacuate your home and had one hour to pack your car with everything that was valuable to you (above and beyond your family, pets, and old tax returns!), what would you choose to save?
Sometimes, items are of value simply because of the wonderful memories they represent. On the other hand, some of the possessions that own a piece of your heart may be more tied up in self-centeredness than sentiment—that stereo system, that jewelry, that new car. It may even be the home that houses all of your prized possessions. The truth is, when you go to heaven, none of these things will be going with you. So why not start loosening your grip on them a little early?
You don't need to start big. Donate something to charity that's not broken or worn out. Give something to another family simply because they need it more than you do. God never said owning things was wrong. However, He did say it was harder for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle (Matt. 19:24). The less tightly you hold on to your possessions, the more contentment you'll have here on earth.

2. Reconnect with a Long-Lost Friend--If you misplaced a hundred-dollar bill, chances are you'd turn your home upside down to find it. But when friends get misplaced along the road of life, all too often their names are simply crossed off the Christmas list and relegated to conversations that begin with "I wonder what ever happened to…"
Don't let an address change or the passing of time erase someone from your life. Invest in future joy by reconnecting with people from your past. Conduct your own friendship "search and rescue" by typing a friend's name into your favorite Internet search engine. Call mutual friends and ask the "Do you know whatever happened to…?" question. Send a note to a friend's last known address, asking whoever currently lives there for help.
Once you think you've located your friend, drop him or her a note. Share a few favorite memories, a little about what's happened in your life since you last saw each other. Chances are, your friends will be as excited to reconnect with you as you are with them. What's more, your timing in tracking them down may be God's timing in meeting a need.
It takes time, energy, and love to make a friend. Don't squander that investment. And when friends do wind up "missing," don't wait until heaven to reconnect with them. Reach out now. True friends are treasures whose value increases with time.

3. Spend a Day Alone with God--Suppose God gives you 70 years to live on this earth? That means, before your departure to heaven, you would have 25,550 days to explore, enjoy, and make a difference in the world around you. Out of all those days of opportunity and adventure, dedicating a single day to spend totally focused on the One who gave you the gift of life itself seems like a small thing. And it is, especially in light of eternity.

4. Touch an Untouchable--In the Hindu caste system, some people in the society are viewed as "untouchable." These individuals are deemed intrinsically inferior from the womb to the grave. Although the caste system is now illegal in India, its practices are still widely accepted. Members of the lowest caste are still regularly shunned, insulted, and oppressed. You may feel a tinge of superiority because you don't believe anyone's untouchable. Or do you?
Take a good look at how you feel about different groups of people. Bikers. Manual laborers. Teenagers. Panhandlers. The elderly. Unwed mothers. Immigrants. People with aids. The physically handicapped. People with tattoos and body piercings. Individuals with a different skin color, religion, or even gender. Who's on your personal list of "untouchables"?
Before you get to heaven, banish any internal caste system that's preventing you from opening your hands and your heart to others. Begin with prayer. Ask God to bring situations into your life that will allow you to get close enough to reach out and "touch" an untouchable. You may feel uncomfortable at first. You may even feel like a hypocrite, that your actions are not sincere. But the desire to do the right thing can be a genuine motivation for love. The more you put your love into action, the easier it will be to see how God has woven His image into each and every person, making it impossible for anyone to ever be an "untouchable."

5. Dance with Abandon-- Polka, samba, hip-hop, salsa, waltz… or just put on some music and get your body moving to the beat. Dancing is fun, freeing, and good for your health. While you can learn plenty of formal steps, simply getting into the habit of being able to respond to music in a physical way is something worth doing before you get to heaven. After all, there likely will be plenty of dancing there. In the same way that David danced before God to express his joy and gratitude (2 Sam. 6:14), you'll get your chance to dance with abandon before the Lord in heaven. Why not get into the habit here and now?

OK, FRIENDS! WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO FIRST?

Feeling Silly

"OK, Larry, it's time!"
"But I'll feel silly."

HAVE I GOT A STORY FOR YOU!
And like Larry the Cucumber, boy, do I feel silly!

The reason I couldn't blog was that I had at some point put in the wrong password and never looked up at the top to see if that might be the problem! Instead I enabled more cookies, checked my java script, whined a lot, bothered my son-in-law who was in the middle of a serious deadline with the magazine he puts out, whined some more, bothered my dear friend who got me started blogging in the first place, and whined some more.

I finally resorted to the foxhole thing--I bargained with God! Ha! And I'm gonna keep my part of the bargain! I promised never to take my laptop to bed at night, even if Joe IS asleep, and never to open it up in the morning until after I've read my Bible, which I had done a few times with a nagging sense of guilt!

Yes!!! I can sing "I Am Free" now with a whole new appreciation for freedom! I didn't realize I was getting so addicted to my computer until I couldn't blog anymore!! Except for the whining and bothering people I love, I'm glad it happened!

But, boy, I'm glad it's over, too!!

Pondering the cheese grater

I keep thinking about what Francis Chan told us about a cheese grater as he held one up in church last Sunday. He said, "Do you think this cheese grater just showed up one day? No, someone thought to himself, 'You know what the world needs? Shreds of cheese! Little strips of cheese! I'll design somehing, carefully punch in little holes, and this will be my masterpiece.'"

He also said, "Do you have anything ELSE in your kitchen that can grate cheese like a cheese grater? Try a knife, a fork, whatever you want to, but there's NOTHING like a cheese grater."

He compared the one-of-a-kind cheese grater to our lives. We are God's masterpieces, designed and created to ___________________. DO WHAT???

You, my friends, will have to fill in the blank for yourselves!

Hint: It will be something that you are uniquely gifted for, something of which you can say, "I was born for this!"

And no fair being humble and saying you AREN'T a masterpiece, because if you do, you're saying GOD SCREWED UP WHEN HE MADE YOU!!

As my friend (whom I was born to support) says, "The lines will be open all night!"

Getting Stuck

My blogging friends and I were discussing elsewhere today the possibility of becoming disobedient by doing MORE than God asks us to do. It reminded me of what Mark Buchanan said in Your God Is Too Safe--

I had begun well. My conversion to Christ combined--at least in my overliterary imagination--the best of the legendary conversions. Like the apostle Paul, my arrogant defiance was knocked out of me by the accosting of the risen Christ, who blinded me with light and then removed the scales so I could truly see. Like Augustine, I was wooed Christward by what seemed to be a child's voice. Like John Wesley, my heart was suffused with the strange warmth of heaven's peace. Like C.S. Lewis, I was hauled, almost kicking and screaming, headlong into the kingdom by the sheer intellectual potency of Christianity.

I hit the ground running. Immediately, I volunteered for everything, anything, that I felt vaguely interested in and marginally qualified for. I led youth group; I helped with music; I taught Sunday School; I wrote the church newsletter; I became a camp counselor; I served as a mentor to several young men.

But something, somewhere, went awry. The zeal fizzled. The fire in my bones became only an ache in the joints. My running became plodding. My lightness became heaviness. My joyfulness became jadedness. I joined the ranks of the murmurers and faultfinders--those who didn't like the music or the sermon or the color of the azaleas behind the church--and I found their number legion.

...I seemed only to be able to live this new life by yielding to an outwardly imposed, sternly enforced regimen of starchy, dreary, wearying rules. I had to walk in a lockstep of legalism.

But I couldn't stand it.

It was too easy to slip back into the habits of mind and living. Going back was, in fact, natural.

Yet I stayed in the church. I continued to lead, teach, help, attend. I never renounced my faith. I had times of fresh resolve and redoubled effort. But it wasn't sustained.

And I was tired. I was tired of teaching an unruly group of kids who couldn't seem to care less. I was tired of the mere busyness of church. I was tired of trying and failing. I was tired of not trying. I was tired of being tired. I was tired of being compliant and yet tired of being defiant. I had chronic spiritual fatigue, and as I looked around, it seemed the condition was epidemic.

He's giving my testimony!! I got a BAD case of chronic spiritual fatigue in the first church I joined after becoming a Christian at age 22. I'm so grateful that God brought me out of it and taught me to walk in the Spirit! Sometimes I still think maybe I should be doing more. (In recovery groups, they say "Don't should on yourself!") But mostly, I trust God to lead me.

He has led me into a wonderful place lately--the Creative Arts department of FBC! What a blessing to be in a choir much like Brooklyn Tab! The truth is, I'm not much of a singer, but they put up with me anyway, and I absolutely love it! That's where the Spirit is blowing (in my life, at least), and I'm flinging myself into the hurricane! The International Worship Institute was heaven on earth to me! My worship pastor and his family are the delight of my life! Getting to know godly young women like Lisa and Spring and Laura blesses me beyond words!

So with no more words, and after using WAY too many exclamation points, I bid you goodnight!

Lightening up!

For those who aren't interested in current events, here's a little satire!

LOUISVILLE — Pastor Sean Welch and his wife Eleanor are concerned that their 16-year-old son isn't turning into the hellraiser they thought he'd be. "We've always heard how much trouble PK's are, so we spent years reading parenting books and attending seminars," said Eleanor. "It looks like all that preparation is wasted."

The boy, Adam, is admittedly mild-mannered, even annoyingly so. He likes to sit in his room and strum his guitar and play computer games with his friends. He wants to be an orthodontist. His teachers say he's a good student, if lacking in creativity.

"Dad sat me down a few weeks ago and told me it was time I start causing trouble," Adam said, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. Pastor Welch handed him the keys to the car, a fifth of whisky and a baseball bat and shooed him out of the house, then waited by the phone for the police or an angry parent to call. That call never came. "I went out and hit a few mailboxes with the bat, but it didn't feel good, so I poured out the whiskey and came home," says Adam. "If I have a police record, dentistry schools won't take me."

Welch faces humiliation at pastors' conferences, where other men confide in each other about their troubled teenagers. "I've started lying and telling them Adam is having problems, too," Welch says. "I make up drug use, promiscuity, all sorts of stuff. Then I go back to my room and cry. I'm missing the whole father-of-a-PK experience." The Welches fret that Adam's testosterone level may be low, though he tested normal.

Sean and Eleanor sit at home most evenings, their boy upstairs playing worship songs, and stew. "I've lost some respect for the kid," says Sean with a sigh. "I've tried to be the model pastor, and I'd hoped he would be the model PK. I feel I've failed somehow."

More on the Israeli War

I'm sooooooo glad Annette and I went to Israel in March! Everywhere we went, we were told that war was coming, so we were very grateful that God led us to go when we did. Annette sent me this copy of a letter from Asher Intrator, an Israeli Christian, to the Christians of Lebanon.

We want you to know that the Israeli people have no hatred of Lebanon. In fact, all our leaders have expressed sincere grief for innocent civilians who have been hurt by this war. Sometimes we wonder why the reaction in the Arab world seems so opposite – that there is rejoicing anytime we Jews suffer.

We have no desire for war with Lebanon, and everyone is looking forward to a true peace. That is why we pulled out all our soldiers and all our weapons unilaterally from any Lebanese territory six years ago. That is why we also consider the attack from Hizballah totally unprovoked, and particularly dangerous since it crossed the international border between us.
During these six years we have warned the international community about the build up of arms by Hizballah, which comes from Iran, through Syria. In fact, it was the commitment of UN resolution 1559 and the UNIFIL (United Nations Interim Forces in Lebanon) to DISARM Hizballah. Instead they became a cover-up for the escalation in armament by this terrorist group. That is why we find it extremely hypocritical for the U. N. to condemn Israel, since this whole war would not have happened had they not totally betrayed the mandate they were given.

We know the instructions given to Israeli soldiers and pilots to do everything possible to spare innocent victims and to aim only at strategic targets. The opposite is true of Hizballah. First of all they are purposely targeting civilian population centers. Secondly, their policy in southern Lebanon is to place their missile launchers right in the midst of civilian areas, in order to use innocent people on purpose as human shields.

It is worth mentioning here that hurting innocent civilians when firing at a military target is not considered a war crime according to international law, whereas firing artillery from a civilian populated area is indeed a war crime. The Israeli Army has shown films of Hizballah missile launchers firing again and again into Israel and then pulling the launcher immediately inside a neighboring house.

Many have accused Israel of using unnecessary force. In the 20 days of the conflict, Hizballah has fired two thousand (2,000!) missiles aimed directly at the cities in northern Israel. It is only by the grace of the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, that so few of our people have been killed. If any other country had been attacked unprovoked, across an international border and with missiles fired at major cities, the response would have been 100 times worse. Almost all of Israeli casualties have been because our soldiers have restrained their use of force in order to reduce civilian causalities.

Lastly, in terms of proportionate response, Israel is surrounded by 100 million fanatic Muslims who desire to murder us. This is the direct and openly stated purpose of Hamas, Islamic Jihad, the Iranian regime, El Qaida, as well as Hizballah. In every war, we have won (again by the grace of God); and immediately there is an international call for a cease-fire. Should the radical Islamic groups ever win even ONE time, it would mean total annihilation for all our people.
During this six-year period since Israel's withdrawal from southern Lebanon, over thirteen thousand (13,000!) missiles have been moved into the hands of Hizballah from Iran. For what purpose? We were not in Lebanon. This was NOT a territory dispute. The only dispute is our right to EXIST.

We pray for you, along with all the people of Israel, that the forces of terror and jihad will be driven out of your lovely country, that a strong and righteous government will arise, and that there will be true peace between our two countries. No one in Israel desires anything else. We have a beautiful heritage of cooperation and mutual respect between our two nations that goes all the way back to biblical times.

Let's all remember to pray for PEACE! While we know there will never be a lasting peace in the Holy Land until Christ returns, we are TOLD to pray for it. We can ask God to protect and show mercy to his people, both his "chosen people" (the Jews) and his "grafted-on people" (the Christians living there).

My Speeding Ticket

Before I started commuting so far to work every day, I never paid much attention to those white road signs with numbers on them. I just kinda drove the speed I wanted to, and I had never gotten a ticket.

Well, not long after I started my job near Charleston, I got a speeding ticket going through Ozark. My kids laughed about it, because I was only going 37! But I was driving past the police station, and turns out the speed limit was 25!

From then on, every day when I drove through Ozark, I would feel angry at the WHOLE TOWN, especially the police force! It was destroying my peace, which I try very hard to maintain.

One day as I was driving, I heard on the radio that it was National Policemen's Day or something like that. J.J. Jasper said we should all do something to thank a policeman. I did NOT feel like thanking a policeman, but a scripture popped into my head, and I knew I had to act on it. The scripture said: "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

So I drove straight to the bakery section of the grocery near the police station and bought a big box of doughnuts (which I know fits the stereotype of policemen always eating doughnuts, but that was a coincidence--honest!). I wrote a general thank you note on the lid, took it in, placed it on the counter, and left. From that day on, I never had bad feelings toward Ozark, or toward another policeman in Ozark.

That scripture really works! If you give of your time to serve someone, or if you give of your finances to bless someone, it'll change your whole attitude toward the person/situation!

Yesterday Lisa and her girls and I drove through Ozark, and I heard myself telling her what a wonderful town Ozark was, and how I'll miss driving through it every day when I retire.

Just an example of how the Word of God helps me with my emotions. I really LIKE it that God made me an emotional person. I LIKE crying at parades and when they sing the National Anthem at football games and at VBS programs and weddings. But it's really nice that the Holy Spirit convicts me and helps me change my heart when my emotions are out of whack!